Comments on: Those Bastards Need To Get A Grip/2015/07/23/those-bastards-need-to-get-a-grip/Making Lives More WonderfulTue, 28 Jul 2015 08:05:55 +0000hourly1http://wordpress.com/By: AnkoTijman (@AnkoTijman)/2015/07/23/those-bastards-need-to-get-a-grip/#comment-13445Tue, 28 Jul 2015 08:05:55 +0000/?p=4613#comment-13445Here’s an example from a recent situation I encountered as an Agile coach.
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Manager asks the Scrum team to hop into a room to see how things are going. He is talking is quickly, asking several questions qithout really listening to (or understanding of) the answers people give. After like 10 minuts, his final question is “So, things are going well?”… and then there is silence…
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Now my perception is that he is not meeting their needs by no listening and really understanding their answers.
What is my deeper need then?

Ah, I guess: Safety, harmony, alignment?

]]>By: Tobias/2015/07/23/those-bastards-need-to-get-a-grip/#comment-13441Sun, 26 Jul 2015 14:46:34 +0000/?p=4613#comment-13441Love this post. Thank you.

]]>By: flowchainsensei/2015/07/23/those-bastards-need-to-get-a-grip/#comment-13432Fri, 24 Jul 2015 15:33:52 +0000/?p=4613#comment-13432In reply to AnkoTijman (@AnkoTijman).

Hi Anko,

Not too sure I can help greatly via this medium, but I’ll give it a go.

Can you help me get started by describing an occasion when you saw or heard something which triggered these thoughts?

BTW You may also like to try the Nonviolent Communication (NVC) four-step process to surface needs, yourself:
1) Observation(s): Say what you’ve seen (or heard) – absent any evaluation or judgment
2) Feelings: What feelings have those observations triggered in you?
3) Needs: What do those feelings suggest about needs of yours that are/were not getting met?
4) Request: What (refusable) request(s) would you like to make that might see your needs met, and of whom might you make those requests?

HTH

– Bob

]]>By: AnkoTijman (@AnkoTijman)/2015/07/23/those-bastards-need-to-get-a-grip/#comment-13431Fri, 24 Jul 2015 15:16:19 +0000/?p=4613#comment-13431Okay, I understand and I’m willing to rephrase my statements, but pooooohhh that’s hard.
Can you help me out with this one (l’ll keep it short)?
“I think that managers should pay more attention to human needs”.

Then what is my underlying need in this?

]]>By: Andrei Contan (@andreicontan)/2015/07/23/those-bastards-need-to-get-a-grip/#comment-13428Fri, 24 Jul 2015 07:33:44 +0000/?p=4613#comment-13428Is there really a ‘need’ of somebody to do something for another? I remember one psychology class I attended and the teacher told us that: “You don’t need to do anything, it’s all about stating your expectations against a certain action”. Then she taught us how to rephrase everything and not use the word ‘need’ anymore.
It was a moment of revelation that you can achieve much more without literally needing it!

]]>By: Martien van Steenbergen/2015/07/23/those-bastards-need-to-get-a-grip/#comment-13424Thu, 23 Jul 2015 18:40:13 +0000/?p=4613#comment-13424Also, give Byron Katie’s “The Work” a try. It’s exactly about this, e.g. “Fill in the Jung-Your-Neighbour worksheet.
See http://thework.com.

]]>By: Nick/2015/07/23/those-bastards-need-to-get-a-grip/#comment-13422Thu, 23 Jul 2015 14:01:10 +0000/?p=4613#comment-13422Should is a dangerous word. Up there with can’t. I’d like to read Rosenberg reference.

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