Comments on: What is a Humane Relationship?

By: Paul

Paul — Mon, 01 Jul 2019 01:53:48 +0000

Humane relations are ones in which actual human limitations are taken into account when formulating a healthy and peaceful relations. These limitations (in part) include: Making Mistakes; Not being able to know everything; Being in only one place at a time; Not being able to read people’s mind; and, Not being able to know everything. We might be able to create a much more peaceful world if these limitations were kept in mind.

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The most important thing we can do | Diary of a ScrumMaster — Wed, 11 Sep 2013 08:30:04 +0000

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By: Richard Karpinski

Richard Karpinski — Fri, 19 Jul 2013 20:01:16 +0000

I’ve just been watching Dan Ariely videos suggested by Matthew Leitch on LinkedIn. He has very clear things to say about how people are built mentally and why they do what they do. Useful in understanding how to be effectively humane.

By: Nitpicker77

Nitpicker77 — Thu, 18 Jul 2013 00:41:00 +0000

I am delighted to report that I often experience humane relationships, especially with my wife of 32 years and with Jef Raskin, originator of the Macintosh project at Apple, and author of *The Humane Interface*.

His prime concern in designing computer systems is that they should be so simple and consistent in use that quickly, your fingers know what to do. Thus your conscious attention can remain on your task rather than become distracted by the demands of the system. He called this achieving automaticity. It’s great when things work that way, but it’s non-trivial to make systems that work so well.

Richard

By: Josh

Josh — Wed, 17 Jul 2013 17:14:27 +0000

Hi Bob,

Thanks for sharing these insights into improving our relationships with one another. I can see how it will help me and others in my life both personally and professionally. I have a question for you related to work life.

Do you think that building humane relationships as you’ve described is at odds with telecommuting practices and geo-graphically dispersed workforces? It seems to me there is a tension between these two, and that if we are serious about humane relationships we will need more physical presence with one another. What are your thoughts here?

Thanks as always,
Josh

By: perandersagren

perandersagren — Wed, 17 Jul 2013 14:39:36 +0000

I’d like to extend my humble gratitude for your relentless sharing.

Change starts with ourselves. It seems to evolve through sharing, being the seeds needed for any soil. You and many others with you are planting those seeds. They’re growing for me at least!

Thanks for that, Bob.

By: flowchainsensei

flowchainsensei — Wed, 17 Jul 2013 10:21:05 +0000

In reply to Graham Oakes.Hi Graham,Thanks for joining the conversation.I agree that "with ourselves" is a great place to start. Probably the only one the makes any sense. Wouldn't it be awesome if other folks could help us with that? And us, them?BTW Have you read any Walter Wink?And my personal choice on the last question: Nonviolent Communication (Rosenberg) and Person-Centred Therapy (Rogers).- Bob

By: tomsreflections

tomsreflections — Wed, 17 Jul 2013 10:08:14 +0000

There are many ways to respond to life’s challenges, and our organizations embody many of the possibilities of how we can do so in groups to foster our well-being. We create the world that we think, but more importantly that we experience and feel. The reason so many businesses operate the way they do is that they embody the unconscious emotional states of their members (not because they are forced to act one way or another by circumstances). Solving business issues therefore often involves–mostly indirectly, but sometimes directly–helping people to resolve emotional issues by becoming more aware of what they need and what drives them to act as they do. It is a rewarding way to go through life, and makes for very good managers.

By: Graham Oakes

Graham Oakes — Wed, 17 Jul 2013 09:32:05 +0000

Hi Bob,

For me, starting place in all this is our relationship with ourselves. How often do we feel “unconditional positive regard” for ourselves? Not that often, I suspect — we’re mostly brought up and educated to avoid “bad” emotions, accept our position low in the pecking order, etc. Without self-regard, how possible is it to have humane relationships with others?

Organisational power relations generally make this even harder — many managers have learned that the way to protect their positional power is to push others down (& keep them in a state of low self-regard). And many people have experienced most of their working lives in environments that give them few other models of how to operate.

Question is how we plants seeds of humaneness in this unpromising soil?

Cheers
Graham