The Paradox of Seeking and Benefiting from Help

As humans, interdependence is a fundamental truth that shapes our lives. Despite this, the process of seeking help – a natural extension of our interdependence – often becomes a daunting, seemingly insurmountable hurdle. Indeed, many individuals and organisations struggle with asking for help, and even more so, with benefiting from the help offered.

Why is this the case? Let’s break down this paradoxical behaviour and discuss potential solutions.

Individual Resistance: The Fear of Asking for Help

Humans are social creatures, wired for cooperation and interaction. However, when it comes to asking for help, a peculiar resistance tends to surface. Often, the fear of appearing vulnerable, incompetent, or dependent leads to avoidance of seeking assistance. This avoidance can be further compounded by the fear of rejection or imposition.

This resistance doesn’t just stem from personal emotions but also cultural values. In societies that value independence and self-reliance, asking for help can sometimes be seen as a sign of weakness rather than a natural part of human interaction.

Organisational Roadblocks: Seeking Help at Scale

This struggle amplifies when it comes to organisations. The hierarchies, bureaucracies, and cultural nuances inherent in organisations often make it even more challenging to ask for help. Misconceptions around asking for help can impact an employee’s career progression, lead to fear of judgment, and consequently, create a culture where help-seeking is discouraged.

Moreover, larger organisations face structural obstacles that hamper open communication. The vast number of levels, divisions, and specialisations can result in siloed knowledge, making it hard to identify who to ask for help or where to find the required expertise.

The Greater Challenge: Benefiting from Help

Ironically, once help is sought and offered, individuals and organisations find themselves facing an even bigger challenge – benefiting from the help received. Egos, biases, and preconceived notions – both individual and shared assumptions and beliefs – often cloud our ability to accept and effectively use the assistance provided.

Individuals may reject or selectively ignore advice that contradicts their beliefs, creating a cognitive dissonance that hinders the assimilation of new information. In organisations, the existence of differing perspectives and the not-invented-here syndrome – a tendency to reject external solutions in favor of internally developed ones – can deter the effective use of external help.

Bridging the Gap: Creating a Culture of Help-Seeking and Acceptance

The first step in addressing these issues is acknowledging them. Individuals might come to regard asking for help not as a sign of weakness, but as a testament to their courage, humility, and commitment to personal growth.

Organisations might choose to cultivate a culture that not only encourages help-seeking but also fosters an environment where advice and support can be effectively used. This can be achieved by implementing strategies that facilitate open communication, collaborative problem-solving, and active learning.

Training programs focused on enhancing interpersonal and communication skills, promoting empathy, and reducing judgment can also help create a more conducive environment for help-seeking and use of resultant help.

Moreover, role models have a critical part to play. Folks who are open about their own needs for help and who actively benefit from the assistance offered set an example for others to follow. Their behavior sends a powerful message that help-seeking is valued and rewarded, thus dismantling the fear associated with it.

Conclusion

In conclusion, the struggle with seeking and benefiting from help is real and multifaceted. It ‘s a deeply ingrained behaviour with which both both individuals and organisations grapple. But by fostering an environment of openness, mutual respect, and ongoing learning, we can overcome these hurdles, making the process of seeking and benefiting from help a natural and effective part of our personal and professional lives.