Ego – The Perfect Blocker

There’s a saying that wisdom often falls on deaf ears, and nowhere does this seem truer than when broaching the subject of ego with managers. Is it even worth trying to invite them to consider that their ego might be the major blocker to success for their organisations? The common sentiment might lead us to believe that there’s no point in even trying.

The Ego and Its Hold on Managers

In the context of business managers and executives, the term “ego” refers to a person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance. It’s the part of the mind that mediates between the conscious and unconscious and is responsible for a sense of personal identity and self-confidence. This understanding of ego can be a powerful force in individuals, particularly those in leadership positions. Managers, often under pressure to perform, may become consumed with their sense of self, status, and personal wellbeing.

This focus on self can lead to a lack of openness to criticism or feedback, especially if it’s aimed at something as personal as the ego.

Why Telling Managers Seems Futile

Nobody likes being told anything, and especially when the subject is related to one’s self-image.

1. Resistance to Criticism: Managers often see themselves as the decision-makers and leaders. Admitting that their ego might be an issue can feel like a personal attack, leading to defensiveness.
2. Lack of Awareness: Many managers might be unaware of how their ego affects their decisions and the organisation as a whole. Without this awareness, any conversation about ego can seem abstract or irrelevant.
3. Fear of Vulnerability: Acknowledging that one’s ego is a problem requires a level of vulnerability that many managers may be unwilling or unable to embrace.
4. The Backfire Effect: Presenting evidence that challenges a manager’s belief or behaviour might cause them to hold on to their views more strongly. This psychological phenomenon further complicates the task of addressing ego in leadership.

A Different Approach: Is There Hope?

While it may seem like a lost cause, there might be ways to address the issue without direct confrontation:

• Focus on Behaviour, Not Personality: Instead of talking about ego as a personality flaw, focus on specific behaviours – arising from e.g. ego – that might be addressable and changeable.
• Invite and Support Self-Reflection: Create opportunities for managers to reflect on their actions and how they affect the team. This can lead to organic realisation and change.
• Build a Culture of Openness: Cultivating a culture where feedback is encouraged and valued can slowly break down barriers and make conversations about ego more acceptable, less uncomfortable.

Summary

While it may seem futile to tell managers that their ego is blocking everyone’s success, it’s not necessarily a lost cause. The approach matters. By focusing on behaviour, encouraging self-reflection, and fostering an open culture, we can pave the way for constructive conversations about ego.

It’s not about pointing fingers or laying blame; it’s about creating an environment where growth and self-improvement are possible. The task is challenging, no doubt, but it’s not one that we should abandon without trying. It requires tact, empathy, and persistence, but the potential rewards for the organisation are well worth the effort.