A Rough Ride

Changing one’s assumptions and beliefs is a rough ride. And the more one has vested in one’s existing assumptions and beliefs, the rougher the ride can be.

The human understanding when it has once adopted an opinion […] draws all things else to support and agree with it. And though there be a greater number and weight of instances to be found on the other side, yet these it either neglects and despises, or else by some distinction sets aside and rejects, in order that by this great and pernicious predetermination the authority of its former conclusions may remain inviolate.

– Francis Bacon

Losing one’s faith – for example, in the precepts and dogmas of Agile, or Management – doesn’t mean just changing our mind about factual matters – it can mean losing our identity, community, friends and family. It means disappointing a whole lot of people. It means looking those we respect in the eyes and confirming their worst fears. It means realising that what we have evangelised as a missionary, what we have taught our juniors and what we have argued against non-Agile colleagues was wrong. In sum, it is a terrifying thing. That is the impression we can garner from listening to accounts of people who have gone through this.

In other words, there are various incentives for Agilists to keep believing. Agilists who have gone through faith crises always say that they desperately wanted the dogma to be true but that they just could not bring themselves, ultimately, to continue believing it. 

Maybe the one thing missing from stories of realisation was the importance of finding some sort of stability or path on the other side of doubt. When we are opening up our minds to being changed, we are treading on new and perilous ground. It helps to know that others have trodden it before, and that what lies ahead is not as dangerous as all that.

Changing One’s Mind Is Painful

Even if most of the stories that we have heard of newly-converted ex-Agilists are success stories in some sense – and of course there is a selection effect here – they still show how utterly crowded faith crises can be with pain and heartbreak. We hear about careers falling apart and teams splitting up. We hear about people being disavowed by their employers, peers, or even partners. We hear about people being shunned by their friends. And we see how painful it is to realise that one has spent one’s whole life living in a kind of diorama.

The processes involved in changing one’s mind are unusually stark when it comes to Agilists changing their minds about their dogmas and faith. This is because various social, cultural and psychological factors incentivise members to keep believing that the dogma is true even as information readily available online makes a compelling argument that it isn’t. Some Agilists overcome these factors and reach the latter conclusion anyway. This is a difficult, disorienting and painful undertaking. But it is also somehow beautiful, and I suppose what I find so beautiful about it is that it is the scout, the doubter, the truth-seeker, an underdog here if there ever was one, who wins out despite it all.

– Bob