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Caring

You May Find This Disconcerting

February 27, 2024
Antimatter principle, Article, Attendants, Caring, Compassion, Conversations, Organisational Therapy
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You May Find This Disconcerting

Organisational psychotherapists have an unusual approach to helping people that some might find quite disconcerting. When advising on jobs, relationships, or life decisions, we don’t just take requests at face value. Instead, we dig deeper using the Antimatter Principle.

The goal is to aid people in surfacing the hidden motivations underlying what people say they need. We often ask “Why?” to expose emotional needs and deeper values driving behaviour. And admittedly this persistent probing makes many uncomfortable, at least initially.

We find ourselves constantly asking “Why?” Not just once, but repetitively, until our clients get to the heart of the matter. We’re looking for folks to understand their underlying motivations – the fundamental emotional, psychological or values-based drivers behind their stated wants and requests.

For example, say someone asks for advice on finding a new job with better pay. We could just look at open positions and salaries, making recommendations based on those factors.

But instead, we might ask “Why?” in an attempt to surface their assumptyions and beliefs, and to help them uncover their motivations.

Perhaps they want higher pay because they feel unappreciated in their work. Maybe it’s about financing kids’ education. Or it could be dreaming of a new house. There may even be a desire to boost self-esteem or a sense of self-worth tied to income level.

These motivations are powerful drivers of the stated need. Ttruly helping people requires understanding those underlying emotional needs and values behind the surface-level request.

So we might continue asking “Why?” until their motivation reveals itself to them. With that understanding, we’re able to reflect on jobs or other solutions that may work far better than just chasing higher pay. We uncover approaches that align with their deepest needs, not just the transactional request.

Clearly, repetitively asking “Why?” in attempts to unearth hidden motivations is an unusual approach. And yes, some may understandably find this probing style uncomfortable or disconcerting at first. (Clean Language can help)

But time and again I’ve seen the aha moments this approach delivers as people’s motivations come to the surface. And it’s helped friends, family and clients find outcomes better tailored to their previously unstated and unconcious needs.

That ability to uncover and serve people’s underlying emotional drivers we call the Antimatter Principle. These hidden motivations power much of human behavior. Bringing them to the surface releases energy capable of transforming outcomes in positive ways.

So if in working with an organisational psychotherapist you ever feel we’re responding oddly or asking too many follow-up “Why’s,” this principle likely explains it. We simply believe that to truly help people, we must do the work of supporting the discovery of their deeper motivations and needs.

What is Rigour?

February 7, 2024
Actionable Insights, Article, Capability development, Caring, Culture change, Engineering, Fellowship, Organisational effectiveness, Product development, Quintessence, Rightshifting, Self-organisation, Software development, Standard work, Teambuilding
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What is Rigour?

Rigour refers to the strict precision and accuracy with which work is executed in fields like software engineering and collaborative knowledge work (CKW). It entails adherence to standards and best practices for needed outcomes.

The Importance of Getting it Right

Attentive rigour matters because carelessness breeds mistakes. Flaws in logic or bugs in code stem from a lack of rigour. This introduces unwanted surprises, and failures down the line. Rigour is an attitude of mind that zeroes in on getting things right the first time Cf. Crosby, ZeeDee.

The Perils of Getting it Wrong

However, the quest for rigour can go awry when imposed hastily or mindlessly. Establishing rigorous frameworks like requirements analysis, peer review etc. does carry overhead. Teams can get so bogged down chasing perfection that creativity, productivity and morale suffer. Or so much time is spent eliminating small defects that bigger picture progress slows. Like most things, balance is warranted.

The Laissez-Faire Extreme

At the other end of the spectrum from rigour lies the laissez-faire attitude. This French phrase meaning “let it be” encapsulates a laid-back approach where participants have broad freedom to work in whatever manner they choose.

In software and knowledge work contexts, laissez-faire environments feature very few enforced policies, protocols, or mechanisms for ensuring quality. Creativity and unhindered workflow takes priority over rigour. Peer reviews, quality assurance, and documentation are optional. Teams self-organise organically without work standards.

This spontaneity can spark innovation but has pitfalls. Lack of rigour tacitly permits cut corners, gaps in logic, unfinished ideas and sloppy execution. With an easy-going approach, easily preventable flaws accumulate and undermine end results.

In applied contexts like commercial software development, laissez-faire practices practically guarantee shoddy work products riddled with defects. User needs demand rigour not as an obstacle, but as an enabler of excellence. Finding the right balance is key.

The absence of rigour embodied in laissez-faire philosophies may promote freedom. But the ensuing chaos leaves the fruits of hard work easily compromised. Some structure and rigour ultimately serves applied collaborative knowledge work better in the long run.

While cutting corners is not an option, forced rigour without context can mean marginal gains at disproportionate cost. Rigour must enable, not encumber, the pursuit of excellence. Teams that foster a culture where rigour flows from all participants, intrinsically and voluntarily, tend to find the sweet spot. Getting there requires clarity of purpose, patience, and care. Do that and rigour lifts the quality of collaborative knowledge work substantially over time.

What does rigour mean to you and your team?

What is “Caring”?

January 2, 2024
Antimatter principle, Article, Attendants, Caring, Compassion, Culture change, Empathy
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What is “Caring”?

In a world that seems more divided and impersonal each day, it’s easy to lose sight of what it really means to care for one another. But what does it truly mean to care?

At its core, caring is about attending to the needs of others with compassion. Caring people make an effort to understand what others need to live joyful, fulfilling lives. They seek to support people emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Their acts of caring may be large or small – from listening patiently to a friend in need to volunteering at a homeless shelter. But in all cases, caring stems from a genuine concern for the welfare of fellow human beings.

In their book Compassionomics, economists Stephen Trzeciak and Anthony Mazzarelli provide copper-bottomed evidence that caring produces tangible benefits both for givers and receivers alike. Studies show that people who volunteer tend to be healthier and live longer. Compassion training in schools reduces violence and bullying. Caring healthcare professionals have patients with better outcomes. And people who feel cared for are more resilient in the face of trauma and stress. In study after study, caring proves critical for individual and collective wellbeing.

Of course, caring can be challenging. It requires generosity, sacrifice, and emotional intelligence. There are times we must care for people we find difficult. And earnest caring always involves some risk – the risk of rejection, disappointment or loss. But as Trzeciak and Mazzarelli explain, these risks pale next to the regrets of a life spent without meaningful caring connections.

In the end, caring is not about sympathy cards or grand gestures. It is about small acts of service and support, performed consistently and sincerely. Caring is embracing our shared humanity. It is a commitment to be present and helpful in the lives of others. And it is ultimately the bond that enables human flourishing even in hard times.

Is caring important to you? Does giving and receiving of compassion feature in your life? Perhaps if we can recover the simple art of caring for one another, some of the discord in our society will dissipate, leaving more space for the ties that truly matter.

Talking About Needs?

October 4, 2023
Antimatter principle, Article, Caring, Compassion, Empathy, Fellowship, Psychology, Relationships
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Talking About Needs?

Life can be a labyrinth of responsibilities, expectations, and emotions. Amidst the maze, it’s easy to lose sight of folks’ fundamental unattended-to needs. Or even that people have more wonderful lives when their needs receive attention – from e.g. friends, family, employers and coworkers.

Broaching these questions with a close friend could be your mutual ticket to helping each other have more wonderful and satisfying lives:

  1. “What Are The Things – If Any – You’d Like to Have Happen (that aren’t happening yet)?”
    Discussing desires and aspirations that haven’t yet come to fruition can open up new possibilities for growth and satisfaction. It could even illuminate areas where friends, etc., can support each other to make life more wonderful.
  2. “What Gives You the Sense That Something Is Missing?”
    This sensation of something being amiss is not uncommon. It’s like a jigsaw puzzle with a missing piece; you can see the overall picture, but in some way it’s incomplete.
  3. “What Differences Do You Notice Between Your Current Life and Something Better?”
    Here’s an opportunity for reflection. There’s often a discrepancy between our lived experiences and our ideal lives. Acknowledging this disparity might help in closing the gap.
  4. “What Needs Haven’t You Shared Out Loud?”
    We all have those unspoken wishes—perhaps because they seem too foolish or unreachable. Yet, acknowledging these can be the first step toward addressing unmet needs or goals.
  5. “What Haven’t You Done Yet?”
    Procrastination, or even just life getting in the way, can keep us from pursuing things we’re passionate about. What’s on your list of ‘somedays’ that you might turn into ‘todays’?
  6. “What Makes You Feel Understood or Misunderstood?”
    The emotional nourishment that comes from being understood is a fundamental human need. If it’s missing, that’s something worth exploring further.
  7. “What Topics Find You Changing the Subject?”
    Sometimes avoidance is the best indicator of significance. Those undiscussable topics or issues you’re sidestepping? They could be precisely where attention is most needed.
  8. “How Do You Feel When You Have to Say No?”
    The difficulty in setting boundaries is often symptomatic of deeper, unattended needs. If you find it challenging to say no, this might be an area worth investigating.
  9. “Where in Your Life Do You Feel Like You’re on Autopilot?”
    Routine can offer comfort, but it can also veil unmet needs. If you find areas of your life running on autopilot, it could be a sign to probe deeper.
  10. “What Emotions Do You Find Yourself Keeping in Check, or Burying?”
    Society often prescribes what emotions are acceptable, causing us to suppress those that aren’t. These suppressed emotions could point to neglected needs or aspects of oneself.

Discussing these questions may not offer quick fixes, but they can pave the way for deeper and more rewarding connections with others. Of course, this all hinges on genuine concern for the people you’re conversing with. Without empathy and compassion, these conversations are vacuous at best.

Anticipating Folks’ Needs

September 25, 2023
Antimatter principle, Article, Business, Caring, Culture change, Customers, Needs
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Anticipating Folks’ Needs

What is Proactive Attention?

When it comes to attending to folks’ needs, there’s a lot more than just responding to requests or fixing issues as they arise. The best organisations don’t wait for things to go wrong; they actively work on understanding the needs of the Folks That Matter™ well in advance. That’s what we call proactive attention to needs.

What is the Antimatter Principle?

The Antimatter Principle goes beyond simple problem-solving; it focuses on making meaningful connections with others by attending to their needs. Proactively adhering to this principle means looking ahead to prevent issues from even occurring.

How Does Boyd’s OODA Loop Fit In?

The concept of getting inside your customers’ OODA loop can be a game-changer here. The OODA loop—Observe, Orient, Decide, Act—is a framework that describes the decision-making process. By stepping into your customers’ decision-making cycles, you gain insights into their needs even before they’ve fully realised them themselves.

Why Anticipate Needs?

The importance of anticipating needs isn’t just about averting crises; it also sets the stage for better relationships, trust, and eventually, loyalty. A proactive approach signals to your stakeholders that you’re committed, engaged, and focused on their success, not just your own.

Practical Steps for Anticipation

So how do you go about it? You can begin by listening deeply, not just to what people are saying but also to what’s left unsaid. Collect data that provides insights into behaviour patterns, pain points, and preferences. Combine this with active engagement to fine-tune your understanding of what really matters to the people involved.

Results of Being Proactive

Organisations that are effective in anticipating needs find themselves ahead of the curve. They’re able to provide solutions before a problem becomes a crisis, foster positive relationships, and maintain a competitive edge.

Summary: Beyond Reactivity

In summary, being reactively agile isn’t enough in today’s competitive environment. Foreknowledge of who constitues the set of all the Folks That Matter™ and anticipating their needs allows you to make smarter decisions, foster loyalty, and build lasting relationships. So start paying proactive attention to needs; it’s a change that’s worth the effort.

The Tough Reality of Making Lives More Wonderful

September 17, 2023
Advice sought, Antimatter principle, Article, Caring, Compassion, Nonviolent Communication, Psychology, Relationships, Therapy, Wonder
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The Tough Reality of Making Lives More Wonderful

Why is Helping People So Hard?

I’ve dedicated three decades to pursuing a vocation of helping people. Although the need for help is often evident, the willingness to accept it is far less common. This dissonance creates a nuanced and sometimes difficult environment in which to operate. The challenge lies not only in the provision of help but also in the varying levels of receptivity I encounter.

Why Don’t People Want Help?

On the surface, the equation should be simple: as a general rule, people have needs, and I support them in finding their own solutions. However, in my years of experience, I’ve found that most individuals aren’t actually seeking help, even when they could benefit from it. There’s a persistent gap between the need for assistance and the willingness to engage with it. This chasm often converts what should be a straightforward transaction into an intricate dance, requiring careful and compassionate relationship building.

What Keeps Them From Asking For Help?

The reluctance to seek help is a convoluted issue involving various emotional and psychological elements. Among these are:

  • Caution: A fundamental wariness often deters people from exposing their vulnerabilities. Opening up to someone else—especially a relative stranger—requires a leap of faith that many find daunting.
  • Pride: The ego can be a significant obstacle. Admitting the need for help can feel like admitting defeat or incompetence, and pride can get in the way of taking that step.
  • Shame: Some people feel that asking for help highlights their inadequacies and failures, making them less worthy in their eyes or the eyes of others.
  • Guilt: There’s often a sense that one should be able to manage on one’s own and that needing help is a sign of weakness or failure. This guilt can suppress the act of reaching out.
  • Fear: The fear of being judged or stigmatised for needing help can be paralysing. It can deter people from seeking assistance even when they genuinely require it.

Additionally, societal norms, which frequently penalise vulnerability and appearing “needy”, serve as another layer of hindrance. This creates an environment where needs go unexpressed, which, in turn, increases the complexity of helping. Helping then requires detective work, identifying hidden needs, and diplomace, navigating sensitive emotional terrains.

Why Can’t People Accept Help?

Even when the stars align and an offer of help coincides with a recognised need, the final hurdle of acceptance remains. The act of accepting help exposes vulnerabilities and can trigger fears of indebtedness or losing autonomy. As such, this step often presents its own unique set of challenges. It necessitates a nuanced understanding of individual psychologies and social dynamics, to ensure that well-intended aid is not just offered but also accepted. Those in the medical professions have long understood the gulf between capability and getting patients to follow treatment regimens (Adherence).

Even when a need is acknowledged and help is readily available, accepting that help is another obstacle entirely. The complexities associated with this final step are multilayered:

  • Exposure of Vulnerability: Accepting help usually necessitates revealing weaknesses or inadequacies, which many find deeply uncomfortable.
  • Fear of Indebtedness: Accepting someone’s assistance often comes with the implicit or explicit expectation of reciprocity, which can create pressure and stress.
  • Loss of Autonomy: Some fear that accepting help means ceding control, undermining their sense of independence or self-sufficiency.
  • Negative past experiences: Many people may have experienced being “helped” in the past, with associated negative experiences.

It’s worth noting that this struggle with acceptance is also common in fields like medicine. There, practitioners have long grappled with the difference between having the ability to treat a condition and getting patients to adhere to the necessary protocols.

Therefore, to ensure that help is both offered and accepted, a deep understanding of individual and group psychology and broader social dynamics is essential. It involves a balanced, nuanced approach that considers both the rational and emotional dimensions of human behaviour.

How Can We Adapt to These Challenges?

Over the years, I’ve realised that adaptability is key. Each person is a unique confluence of needs, fears, and social conditioning, requiring an equally unique approach. Employing a blend of empathy, patience, and non-judgment allows us to better navigate the various obstacles that arise in the helping process. This tailored approach aims to dismantle some of the barriers people erect, making it easier for them to both access and accept the help they need.

To sum up, helping people is far from easy, but the complexities make it all the more important. And the outcomes make it so worthwhile. The disconnect between needing and accepting help isn’t a shortcoming but rather a complex interplay of human factors that we must skillfully navigate. The challenges are significant but so too are the rewards for everyone involved.

Summary

Recently, I’ve found it useful to refine my focus within the broad panorama of “helping people.” After decades of navigating the complexities of human needs and resistance, I’ve refocussed my attention on “making lives more wonderful.” This compelling phrase, originally coined by Marshall Rosenberg in the context of Nonviolent Communication (NVC), succinctly conveys a more targeted, positive approach. It not only gels with my longstanding vocation but also addresses the crux of what most people truly desire, even if they can’t articulate it. By focusing on making lives more wonderful, I’m better prepared to handle the challenges that come with helping people. That makes my life more wonderful, too. And I could really use your help in that. 🙂

Positive Relationships and Collaborative Knowledge Work

September 6, 2023
Antimatter principle, Article, Caring, Collaboration, Compassion, Fellowship, Management, Organisational effectiveness, Product development, Relationships, Software development
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Positive Relationships and Collaborative Knowledge Work

Why Relationships Matter in Collaborative Settings

In sectors such as software development, and management, where collaborative knowledge work is the norm, the quality of relationships isn’t just a social nicety—it’s a business imperative. Positive interpersonal connections amplify collective intelligence, increase productivity, and enhance the overall quality of work. In contrast, strained relationships lead to communication breakdowns, reduced morale, and compromised results. Hence, any team that aims for excellence might choose to focus, at least in part, on fostering positive relationships.

The Heart of the Matter: Caring Deeply

Before diving into the nuts and bolts of relationship building, it’s important to highlight a fundamental principle: genuine care for those with whom you’re working. In the context of collaborative knowledge work like software development, or management, compassion might not be the first thing that comes to mind. However, a deep sense of care and understanding for your fellows is what turns a group of individuals into a cohesive unit. Compassion fosters a supportive environment where people feel valued, not just for their technical skills but for who they are as individuals. This, in turn, leads to a sense of shared purpose and mutual respect, driving the team to higher levels of achievement.

For those sceptical about the role of compassion in a professional setting, the book “Compassionomics” provides compelling evidence. It delves into the science behind compassion and demonstrates how this emotional intelligence skill significantly impacts relationship building and, ultimately, success.

Having set the stage with the importance of deep care and compassion, let’s delve into the specific strategies to build and maintain positive relationships in collaborative settings.

Master the Art of Listening

Listening is more than just a passive act; it’s an active skill. This is especially crucial in collaborative knowledge work where understanding each other is key to solving complex challenges. Effective listening reveals not only what team members are saying but also what they’re thinking or possibly avoiding saying. Technical teams and management teams may choose to regard this deeper level of communication as critical for addressing challenges and finding solutions collaboratively.

Cultivate Self-Awareness

In a team setting, knowing oneself is as vital as knowing one’s craft. Being aware of one’s own strengths, weaknesses, and emotional responses can help navigate team dynamics more effectively. This level of insight allows one to contribute where most effective, and defer when deferral plays to someone else’s strengths.

Uphold Respect as a Core Value

In any collaborative effort, people bring a diverse set of skills and perspectives to the table. The concept of respect goes beyond mere tolerance of this diversity; it involves valuing and leveraging these different skills and viewpoints to enrich the project. In software development, where cross-functional teams often collaborate, respecting different disciplines—be it engineering, UX design, or quality assurance—is vital for project success.

Make Room for Personal Space

Even in high-stakes environments, it’s crucial to understand that everyone needs space to operate effectively. Overcrowding can lead to burnout, reduced productivity, and deteriorated relationship quality. Allowing for ‘breathing room’ can also offer team members the chance for independent thought, which they can later bring back to enrich the collective effort.

Be Consistent in Communication

Effective communication is a key element of successful relationship building. In a fast-paced, deadline-driven setting, regular check-ins can be the lifeline that keeps projects on track. This doesn’t just mean status updates, but also sharing feedback, insights, and even acknowledging small wins. It keeps everyone aligned on goals and expectations, reducing the room for misunderstandings or conflict.

Embrace Adaptability

The nature of collaborative knowledge work, particularly in tech, is dynamic. Flexibility and willingness to adapt are not just desirable traits but beneficial practices for maintaining positive relationships amidst change.

Summary

In collaborative knowledge work, the importance of maintaining positive relationships is amplified due to its direct impact on productivity and outcomes. By incorporating principles like effective listening, self-awareness, respect, personal space, consistent communication, and adaptability, you can lay down a robust foundation for a successful collaborative environment.

Further Reading

Trzeciak, S., & Mazzarelli, A. (2019). Compassionomics: The Revolutionary Scientific Evidence that Caring Makes a Difference. Studer Group.

Needsocracy: A Paradigm Shift from Merit to Need

August 18, 2023
Alien tech, Antimatter principle, Article, Business, Caring, Community, Compassion, Culture change, Deming, Paradigm shifts, Quintessence
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Needsocracy: A Paradigm Shift from Merit to Need

In an age of ostensible progress and societal evolution, we frequently find ourselves questioning systems that were once held as paragons of fairness. One such system, the meritocracy, is increasingly under scrutiny. Heralded as the gold standard of societal organization, where power and resources are awarded based on individual talent and achievement, meritocracy is now facing a formidable challenger: Needsocracy.

In a rapidly changing world where the definitions of success and progress are constantly evolving, a new concept is slowly emerging from the shadows: Needsocracy. At its core, it challenges our traditional meritocratic systems by positing that positions of power, responsibility, and resources be earned based on needs rather than merit. But what does this really mean, and how might it change the world as we know it?

Understanding Meritocracy

To grasp the implications of Needsocracy, it’s essential to understand its antecedent – Meritocracy. Rooted in the belief that power and resources should be awarded to individuals based on talent, effort, and achievement, Meritocracy has long been hailed as the fairest system of distribution. By prioritizing competence and hard work, it promises a level playing field where everyone has an equal opportunity to rise to the top based on their merit.

The Shortcomings of Meritocracy

While meritocracy has its strengths, it isn’t without its criticisms. Critics argue that:

  1. A Pretense of Equality: Meritocracy peddles the illusion of a level playing field, where success is solely a result of hard work and talent. But, in reality, initial conditions, family background, and sheer luck often play a larger role in individual success than merit.
  2. Perpetuating Privilege: Far from being the ultimate fair system, meritocracy often serves to perpetuate privilege. The well-connected get better opportunities, the rich have access to better education, and thus the cycle continues.
  3. The Relentless Grind: Meritocracy promotes an unhealthy obsession with perpetual achievement. It glorifies overwork, leading to burnout, mental health challenges, and a society where the worth of an individual is reduced to their output.
  4. Overemphasis on Competition: This often leads to societal stress, mental health challenges, and at times, a ruthless pursuit of success at the expense of ethics and interpersonal relationships.
  5. Ignoring the System: Meriticracy, grounded as it is in the merits of the individual, ignores “Deming’s 95:5” – the fact that some 95% of an individual’s contributions are dictated by the system (the way the work works) and only some 5% by the merits of the individual.

Enter Needsocracy

Needsocracy flips the script by arguing that societal roles and resources should be distributed based on the needs of individuals and communities. Here’s what that might look like:

  1. Prioritising Humanity: Instead of an endless race to the top, Needsocracy encourages society to cater to the basic human needs of its members, promoting overall well-being.
  2. True Representation: Under Needsocracy, leadership and responsibility would be entrusted to those who genuinely understand and represent societal needs. No longer would decisions be made by those detached from ground realities.
  3. Resource Allocation: Resources would be allocated to those who need them the most, whether it’s in the form of financial assistance, access to education, or healthcare. The goal is to create a foundation from which everyone can achieve their potential.
  4. Power & Responsibility: In a Needsocratic system, positions of power will be occupied by those who represent the most pressing needs of society. For instance, if a community faces a severe water crisis, leadership positions will be occupied by individuals directly affected by this challenge, ensuring that those with firsthand experience are making the decisions.
  5. Collaborative Over Competitive: By focusing on needs, society will transition from a competitive model to a more collaborative one. The success of one individual would be seen in the context of the well-being of the community.

Benefits of Needsocracy

  1. Inclusive Growth: Needsocracy has the potential to level the playing field and ensure that marginalized communities get a fair share of resources and representation.
  2. Holistic Development: By focusing on needs, we can address systemic challenges and root causes, leading to more sustainable solutions.

Challenges Ahead

The shift from Meritocracy to Needsocracy won’t be easy. Defining ‘need’ objectively, ensuring transparency, and avoiding misuse are just a few challenges. Moreover, balancing individual aspirations with societal needs will be a complex task. Societies already grounded in catering to cummunal needs – like the Chinese – may find the transition easier.

Summary

Let’s question long-held beliefs and systems. Meritocracy, once believed to be the epitome of fairness, now stands exposed with its flaws. Needsocracy offers a compelling alternative, urging us to consider a society that genuinely serves its people rather than creating hollow hierarchies.

Needsocracy offers a fresh perspective on how we might structure societies – and businesses, societies in microcosm – for the betterment of all. While it’s still an emerging concept, its potential to usher in a more inclusive, equitable, and holistic era of development is undeniable. As with all societal shifts, the journey to Needsocracy will require debate, experimentation, and evolution. But as we look to the future, perhaps it’s time to reject merit as the determinant of our worth and place in society.

Broaden: Catalyze the Shift to Conscious Fellowship

August 9, 2023
Article, Business, Caring, Community, Compassion, Culture change, Fellowship, Memeology, Quintessence, Teambuilding
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Broaden: Catalyze the Shift to Conscious Fellowship

A new paradigm is emerging: one that prioritises ‘conscious fellowship’ over competitive individualism or sheepy leader/follower dynamics. Gone are the days when success was solely defined by one’s ability to outperform peers. Today, collaborative thinking, team spirit, and conscious engagement with colleagues are taking center stage. Even more, caring for one another. Let’s dive deeper into understanding this shift and why it might be useful for modern businesses.

What is Conscious Fellowship?

Conscious fellowship is an evolved form of collaboration where people come together with a shared purpose, mutual respect, and a genuine concern for the well-being of each other and the larger ecosystem they operate in. It’s a holistic approach to teamwork, emphasising empathy, understanding, and a collective spirit.

The Rise of Conscious Fellowship: Why Now?

  1. Technological Advances: Technology has blurred boundaries and allowed teams to work seamlessly across borders. This interdependence demands a heightened level of mutual respect and understanding.
  2. Millennial, Gen Z and (soon) Gen Alpha Influence: Younger generations entering the workforce value meaningful work, a sense of purpose, and a supportive work culture. They thrive in environments that promote conscious fellowship.
  3. Global Challenges: As businesses tackle global challenges like climate change, pandemics, and social inequities, they recognise the need for collective, cohesive action over individual pursuits.

The Benefits of Conscious Fellowship in Business

  1. Enhanced Productivity: When teams function based on trust, compassion and mutual respect, they work more efficiently, reduce conflict, and foster creativity.
  2. Employee Well-being: A supportive work environment reduces stress, burnout, and turnover. People feel more valued and are more likely to contribute positively.
  3. Sustainable Growth: Businesses that practice conscious fellowship are better positioned to adapt to changes, as they harness the collective intelligence of their teams.

How to Catalyze the Shift to Conscious Fellowship

  1. Seniors Role Modeling: Seniors play a crucial role in setting the tone. When they exemplify the principles of conscious fellowship, they inspire others to do the same.
  2. Open Communication: Encourage open dialogue, active listening, and feedback. When people feel heard and understood, they are more likely to collaborate effectively.
  3. Training and Development: Offer workshops and training sessions that emphasise empathy, communication, and collaboration. Invite and support people to equip themselves with the abilities they need.
  4. Reward and Recognition Systems: Enable teams to recognise and reward their teamwork and collaborative efforts. Shift focus from individual accomplishments to collective achievements.
  5. Cultural Integration: Integrate conscious fellowship into your company’s core values and mission. Make it one of the organisation’s key memes.

Final Thoughts

In a world where the only constant is change, the need for businesses to be nimble, resilient, and adaptable is paramount. Conscious fellowship, as an approach to teamwork, provides a solid foundation for businesses to navigate these uncertain times. By embracing this ethos, companies not only drive success but also create a meaningful, positive impact on their employees and the world at large.

Broaden your horizons, and make the shift to conscious fellowship today. Your team, your business, and the world will be better for it.

Further Reading

Marshall, R.W.. (2023). The Team Fruit Bowl – A Fruity Look at Teambuilding. [online] leanpub.com. Falling Blossoms (LeanPub). Available at:https://leanpub.com/theteamfruitbowl

Marshall, R.W. (2021). Quintessence: An Acme for Software Development Organisations. [online] leanpub.com. Falling Blossoms (LeanPub). Available at: https://leanpub.com/quintessence/ [Accessed 15 Jun 2022].

Marshall, R.W. (2021). Memeology: Surfacing And Reflecting On The Organisation’s Collective Assumptions And Beliefs. [online] leanpub.com. Falling Blossoms (LeanPub). Available at: https://leanpub.com/memeology/ [Accessed 15 Jun 2022].

Marshall, R.W. (2018). Hearts over Diamonds: Serving Business and Society Through Organisational Psychotherapy. [online] leanpub.com. Falling Blossoms (LeanPub). Available at: https://leanpub.com/heartsoverdiamonds/ [Accessed 15 Jun 2022].

Marshall, R.W. (2021). Organisational Psychotherapy Bundle 1. [online] Leanpub. Available at: https://leanpub.com/b/organisationalpsychotherapybundle1 [Accessed 15 Jun. 2022].

A Poem on Shiny Things

June 27, 2023
AI, Article, Caring, Chatbots, Culture change, Empathy, Lamentation, Poem
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A Poem on Shiny Things

In a world of AI, numbers, and machines,
Where computers hum with artificial dreams,
Does steel and code and pixel ever glean,
The human touch, the heart behind the screens?

Why look to tools to mend our deepest cracks,
When cogs and gears know not of empathy?
It’s we who breathe, who feel, who love, who act,
In our own souls lie the solution’s key.

With every byte, each bit and silicon chip,
We’ve woven webs of knowledge, power, might,
But at the core, beneath each fingertip,
It is the human heart that holds the light.

For tech can answer what, when, where, and how,
But in the why, AI does falter, bow.
Though technology holds a stellar charm,
It cannot comfort, cannot hold a hand.

No software feels, no hardware can disarm,
The pain a human heart must understand.
The Chatbots dance with lightning speed and grace,
Yet, they lack the tender rhythm of our pulse.

People, not tech, could steer our pace,
For human warmth no AI can ever convulse.
In wisdom’s quest, let’s not become enslaved,
To cold precision, to sterile, soulless power.

Remember it’s through people lives are saved,
In every minute, every precious hour.
Technology, a tool, a servant be,
While human spirit, the master, ever free.

Fellowship As Protest

March 10, 2023
Article, Business, Caring, Collaboration, Community, Culture change, Fellowship, Nonviolence, Nonviolent Communication
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Fellowship As Protest

Relationship-building is an undervalued but vital tool in the arsenal of the modern-day employee. It is not enough to simply march in the streets or hold a sign aloft; building connections with like-minded individuals and fostering a sense of community is essential to creating lasting change. However, many businesses today actively work to undermine relationship-building in the workplace, promoting division and competition among employees at the expense of cooperation and collaboration.

This insidiousness can take many forms, from pitting employees against each other for promotions to encouraging a toxic work culture that values individual achievement over teamwork. But through active relationship-building, we protest against these destructive practices and create a workplace that values fellowship, cooperation and solidarity.

By forging connections with our fellow employees and working to create a sense of community, we challenge the dominant narrative of competition and individualism. This is not just a matter of improving our own working conditions; it is a powerful form of protest that strikes at the very heart of the capitalist system that pits workers against each other for the benefit of the few.

So let us not underestimate the power of fellowship as a form of protest. By standing together and fostering a sense of community in the workplace, we can create a better world for ourselves and for future generations.

Unveiling the Surprising Purpose of Anger and the Sustaining Power of Hope in the Quest for a Better World

March 8, 2023
Article, Caring, Improvement, Needs, Nonviolent Communication
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Unveiling the Surprising Purpose of Anger and the Sustaining Power of Hope in the Quest for a Better World

Are you familiar with the two flames burning in the human heart? One fueled by anger against injustice and the other by hope for a better world? Discover the surprising purpose of anger and how hope sustains our fight for a more just and equitable society in this thought-provoking exploration of Tony Benn’s powerful quote.

Tony Benn’s quote, “There are two flames burning in the human heart all the time. The flame of anger against injustice, and the flame of hope you can build a better world,” captures the paradoxical nature of the human experience. On one hand, most of us are driven by a deep-seated need for justice and equity, and on the other hand, we are sustained by a persistent hope for a better future.

Anger is often viewed as a negative emotion, one that is associated with aggression, violence, and irrationality. However, anger also serves a surprising purpose: to signal to us that our needs are not being met. When we feel angry, and thereby become conscious of our need for justice and equity, we are more likely to take action to see our needs met, and to work towards creating a more just and equitable world.

The flame of hope, on the other hand, is fueled by our need for belief in the possibility of a better future.

Hope is what allows us to persevere in the face of adversity, to keep struggling for what we believe in, and to continue working towards a more just and equitable society. Without hope, our need for justice and equity can easily be overwhelmed, and our desire for change can be replaced by despair and apathy.

In conclusion, Tony Benn’s quote reminds us that as human beings, we are driven by two powerful forces: the flame of anger against injustice, and the flame of hope that we can build a better world. It is up to each of us to harness these forces and to use them to create positive change in the world. Anger can be a powerful signal, but let’s use it as such in the hope of getting our needs better met.

Aliens Land on Earth: Are We Ready for First Contact?

January 30, 2023
Alien tech, Article, Caring, Compassion
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Aliens Land on Earth: Are We Ready for First Contact?

Managers, in today’s fast-paced world or work, are often tasked with the responsibility of managing teams of employees. However, in their daily routine, they might misplace their “They Live” glasses, hindering their ability to see the true nature of the employees they interact with every day. These glasses, as seen in the classic film “They Live,” have the ability to reveal the true intentions and motivations of the people around you. If managers had such glasses, they would be able to see that the employees they see as mere drones are, in fact, human beings with unique experiences and perspectives.

A manager’s job requires them to manage resources and make decisions that impact the company’s bottom line. In the process, they are often focused on the task at hand, and this focus can often lead to them missing the humanity of the workers they are managing. Without their “They Live” glasses, managers may see workers simply as faceless cogs in the machine, lacking individuality and personal motivations.

However, the reality is that workers are people who have their own dreams, goals, and personal struggles. They bring their experiences and perspectives to the workplace, and it is these experiences and perspectives that help to shape the company’s culture and direction. Managers who are able to see this through their “They Live” glasses will be able to lead their teams more effectively, as they will be able to understand the individual needs and motivations of each worker.

For instance, if a manager sees an employee who is working slowly or lacks motivation, they may see them as lazy and unproductive. However, if they were wearing their “They Live” glasses, they might be able to see that the employee is dealing with personal issues, such as a family crisis, that is impacting their work. By understanding this, the manager could offer support and help the employee get back on track.

Furthermore, when managers are able to see the humanity in their workers, they are able to lead with empathy and compassion. This can create a positive work environment where employees feel valued and motivated, leading to increased productivity and job satisfaction.

In conclusion, managers who misplace their “They Live” glasses are missing out on the opportunity to see the true nature of their employees. By understanding that their workers are not simply drones, but human beings with unique experiences and perspectives, managers can lead more effectively, create a positive work environment, and drive business success. So, it’s important for managers to always keep their “They Live” glasses handy and put them on every day they’re at work.

 

Stepping Away From the Meat-grinder: Joining the Campaign For a Just And Fair World

January 28, 2023
Article, Caring, Community, Culture change, Evangelism, Fellowship, Needs, Nonviolence, Reflections
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Stepping Away From the Meat-grinder: Joining the Campaign For a Just And Fair World

I don’t have a regular job because I just can’t stand the insanity of it all any more. Is that my loss or the world’s?

The world of work is a meat-grinder, a place where the only thing that matters is ego, violence and stupidity. It’s a place where the only thing that counts is one’s ability to serve oneself, to cosy down and protect one’s own interests to the exclusion of all else. I can’t live like that.

I can’t stand the way that people are treated like nothing more than numbers, like nothing more than cogs in a machine, like so many adjuncts of a Borg unimatrix.

Similar to how Gandhi couldn’t stand the deep injustices and intolerability of British imperial rule in India, I can’t stand the world of work as it is now. He stepped away from his comfortable life to fight for what he believed in. Similarly, I have stepped away from the world of traditional wage-slavery to pursue other avenues, other ways of making a difference in the world.

I don’t know if my decision is a loss for me, or for the world. I just know that I can’t continue to be an acquiescing adjunct to something that I find so deeply troubling and unjust. I have little expectation that in the future, the corporate world will change, that it will become a place where people are valued for the content of their character and their heart, not for how much money they can make. But for now, I know that I need to step away, and that’s what I have done. I suspect I’m not by any means alone.

#work #culture #change #people #justice #insanity

The Author

May 7, 2022
Article, Caring, Needs, Purpose
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The Author

I write about what I see, and have seen. I don’t write to entertain (excepting very occasionally) or to curry favour.

I write about ways I’ve seen people approaching things, and ways to maybe approach them differently. Ways in which they might see their needs better met.

Purpose

I write to invite people to think differently. To reflect on what they see and maybe reframe their interpretations and responses differently from their defaults. Why do I do this? Because I have a need to see people having a better time at work. A better experience from the countless hours we fritter away doing other folks’ bidding.

I am your author. And I appreciate you reading my stuff.

I’d like to write about stuff that’s relevant for you, topics that matter to you, to make that kind of connection. But I’m mostly going to continue writing about stuff that matters to me. Long may you continue to find insights and inspiration in it.

– Bob

 

Twelve Invitations for Fellowship

April 19, 2022
Antimatter principle, Article, Caring, Community, Dialogue, Feedback, Fellowship, Learning, Nonviolent Communication
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Twelve Invitations for Fellowship

  1. We’ll have a face-to-face catchup (1:1) at least as frequently as once a week. Either of us can cancel whenever we agree to. It’s our time.
  2. Our 1:1 agenda will be in our meeting invite so we remember important topics. But either of us remains free to use the time for whatever’s on our minds.
  3. When we schedule each catchup, we’ll state *at the time we schedule it* what it’s meant to be about. We prefer to avoid chatting without an agenda. The agenda can be as simple as e.g. “social”.
  4. When we drop into each other’s DMs, we’ll always say hello, and what”s on our minds. No suspense. No small talk while we are wondering what the DM is going to be about.
  5. We will share directly any face-to-face news or announcements that significantly impact e.g. us, our several relationships, our teams or our community, not via a big meeting, recorded video or mailshot.
  6. We’ll share feedback when it’s fresh. Feeedback is about our needs and the extend to which they’ve been met (or not). There will be no hint of performance reviews or other judgements.
  7. We trust everyone to manage their own time. No one is expected to clear with anyone in advance re: their time or place.
  8. We will attend to folks’ needs by way of informing them of our whereabout and times of availability – if and when they have a need to know.
  9. Things gets done the way we decide is best. Our focus is on folks’ needs, not outcomes or outputs. Once we’ve agreed on where we’re going, how to get there is up to each of us, in agreement.
  10. A team is most effective when it has a shared purpose, moves forward together, looks after one another, and takes care of each other and all the folks that matter. We choose to continuously look to our left and to our right for opportunities to help our fellows. We request help whenever we need it. Nobody has to do things in isolation except by choice.
  11. There are no reporting lines, chains of command and control, hierarchy, etc. We talk with each other and anyone about anything we feel is relevant.
  12. We attribute credit when attribution serves folks’ needs. We will never exaggerate our own roles or minimize others’ contributions.

If all of this sounds like it might serve your needs, I invite you to reciprocate by giving of the one thing we all need most. Attention to folks’ needs.

I want to hear your feedback, to know when someone’s needs are going unattended, or are being well-attended to. To know when and how we can bring more joy into folks’ lives.

We always welcome folks’ thoughts, listen patiently, and never respond defensively.

If we attend to each other’s needs, we can learn and grow and bond together. That’s how I need to connect with what’s alive in you.

– Bob

Quickie: Oh, the Irony

January 30, 2022
Caring, Compassion, Lamentation, Organisational Therapy, Quickies
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The irony of my situation. is not lost on me (although I guess it’s lost on most everyone else).

My career has been driven for at least the past thirty years by my concern and compassion for those many millions of folks working in jobs where they have no chance to fulfil their innate potential. Not to mention the unemployed, who also have little to zero opportunity to exercise any of their innate potential.

And now I find myself in the same situation. Oh, the irony.

“Please, just attend to my needs”

January 22, 2022
Antimatter principle, Article, Caring, Compassion, Culture change, Listening, Psychology, Quintessence
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“Please, just attend to my needs”

This is the silent plea of everyone in your organisation (and everyone in our lives, for that matter).

Silent because of fear of appearing weak or needy. And silent because those in need rarely realise they have unmet needs, let alone realise that their needs could be attended to.

Are you hearing their requests? Are you doing something, anything, about them?

How would you feel if your heartfelt pleas continually fell on deaf ears? Do you care how others might be feeling?

– Bob

Compassion Makes For A Better Developer. Period.

January 10, 2022
Antimatter principle, Article, Book Review, Capability development, Caring, Compassion, Culture change, Fellowship, Nonviolent Communication, Organisational effectiveness, Product development, Psychology, Software development
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Compassion Makes For A Better Developer. Period.

I’m loving the book “Compassionomics” by Steve Trzeciak, Cory Booker and Anthony Mazzarelli. I’m finding oodles of research-based data and information of immense relevance to software development organisations, and to businesses generally. 

Not that research, science, and evidence is going to sway folks much if at all. Yet, for those already swayed, the information in the book might be useful. 

There’s a bunch of terms – terms widely in use in the medical business field – explained in the book. Here’s a brief introduction to some of them: 

Burnout

“Decades of rigorous research have identified three hallmarks of burnout: emotional exhaustion (being emotionally depleted or overextended), a lack of personal accomplishment (the feeling that one can’t really make a difference), and depersonalisation. Depersonalisation is the inability to make that personal connection.”

~ Trzeciak & Mazzarelli

Depersonalisation also results in reduction in empathy for patients, and in treatment with compassion.

Compassion Fatigue

Literally, running our of compassion for patients.

Adherence

In the field of medicine, adherence is defined as the extent to which patients are able to follow treatment recommendations from health care providers. Non-adherence is, of course, the opposite: patients patients not following treatment recommendations.

The most common example of non-adherence is when a patient is supposed to be taking prescribed medication but is not taking his or her pills. But non-adherence can be about much more than just not taking medication. It’s also a factor with other treatments, like patients with kidney failure who do not show up for scheduled dialysis treatments. Or when a physician recommends that a patient modifies a certain behaviour – like quitting smoking, losing weight, or exercising regularly – but that patient doesn’t follow through.

Compassion Satisfaction

Compassion satisfaction is the degree to which a person feels pleasure or satisfaction from their efforts to relieve others’ suffering. Aside: It’s this idea that informs the Antimatter Principle.

Compassion Fatigue

Compassion fatigue (emotional exhaustion, depersonalisation, and, in this case, also taking on stress from taking care of those that are stressed from being sick)

“A lack of compassion leads to increased workforce issues”

“A new field of research is suggesting that when organizations promote an ethic of compassion rather than a culture of stress, they may not only see a happier workplace but also an improved bottom line. Consider the important—but often overlooked—issue of workplace culture…Employees in positive moods are more willing to help peers and to provide customer service on their own accord…In doing so, they boost coworkers’ productivity levels and increase coworkers’ feeling of social connection, as well as their commitment to the workplace and their levels of engagement with their job. Given the costs of health care, employee turnover, and poor customer service, we can understand how compassion might very well have a positive impact not only on employee health and well-being but also on the overall financial success of a workplace.”

~ Dr. Emma Seppälä, “Why Compassion in Business Makes Sense”

Emotional Labour

Emotional labour is the management of one’s emotions (both one’s experienced emotions as well as one’s displayed emotions) to present a certain image.

For decades, researchers in management and organisational behaviour have been studying emotional labour by service workers across all types of service industries. For health care providers, emotional labour includes the expectation of compassionate behaviours toward patients, even if those providers aren’t actually feeling an emotional connection with the patient in that particular moment. (A word of caution here: Please resist the temptation to trivialise emotional labour as “faking it.” It goes much deeper than that…)

Neuroplasticity

Recent advances in neuroscience have overturned the long-held belief that the brain’s structure and function was essentially fixed throughout adulthood, in favour of neuroplasticity. Neuroplasticity refers to the human brain’s ability to form, reorganise and grow new synaptic connections, even through adulthood. 

Summary

Are you really telling me the all this research has no relevance to the software industry? That developers, etc., have no need of compassion? That compassion won’t make for a better developer? Tcha!

– Bob

Further Reading

Trzeciak, S., Booker, C. and Mazzarelli, A. (2019). Compassionomics: The Revolutionary Scientific Evidence that Caring Makes a Difference. Studer Group.