Dulce Et Decorum Est

Ah, decorum, the double-edged sword. On one hand, it stitches the social fabric of a business, ensuring threads don’t unravel into chaos. On the flip side, it’s like a too-tight knot, limiting movement and sometimes even cutting off circulation to vital areas. Let’s get into it…

Decorum’s Dark Side: The Silence of Discomfort

We’ve talked about decorum as the unsung hero in boardrooms and virtual chats, keeping us from diving into the abyss of unfiltered chaos. But what about the times when decorum turns into the villain, stifling the very discussions necessary to propel a business forward?

The Elephant in the Room: Conformity

1. Gagging Honesty: When decorum overshadows openness, honesty often gets gagged and tied to a chair. Fear of breaking the ‘decorum barrier’ can dissuade people from expressing dissenting opinions, however constructive and necessary they may be.
2. Limiting Discourse: One downside of decorum is that it can frame discussions within narrow boundaries. Topics that are uncomfortable, controversial, or challenging are often off the table.Undiscussibility thrives.
3. Lack of Intense Debate: Some of the best ideas come from heated discussions, where people don’t just tiptoe around the issues but dig into them. Decorum can chill these debates, making them tepid exchanges of superficial pleasantries and irrelevant trivialities.See also: Bikeshedding.

For Those Who See Dissent as a Duty

In some work cultures, contentious discussions aren’t just tolerated, they’re demanded. Employees treat no subject as undiscussable and consider dissent to be an obligation. In such an environment, excessive decorum can be like putting a speed limit on a racetrack. Here’s why:

1. Quelling the Revolutionary: The one who disagrees, questions, or pushes boundaries often initiates change. A decorum-ruled environment can make these individuals avoid speaking up.
2. Consensus ≠ Progress: Decorum often seeks consensus, which can be the enemy of innovation. After all, if everyone agrees, then everyone is likely thinking too much along the same lines.
3. The Cost of Silence: When people feel the need to dissent but are discouraged by an excessively decorous atmosphere, the cost isn’t just emotional. The business will lose out on valuable insights and revolutionary ideas.

What distinguishes exemplary boards is that they are robust, effective social systems … The highest performing companies have extremely contentious boards that regard dissent as an obligation and that treat no subject as undiscussable.

~ Jeffrey Sonnenfeld

Striking a New Balance

Given that decorum isn’t all rainbows and butterflies, how do we redefine it for the modern, dynamic workplace?

1. Context is King: Understand when it’s appropriate to uphold traditional decorum (hint: rarely) and when it’s productive to let the reigns loosen (hint: almost always).
2. Facilitate Safe Spaces: Create environments where challenging the status quo is not just accepted but demanded and celebrated.
3. Redefine Norms: Perhaps it’s time to evolve the notion of decorum to include open, intense debate as a form of respect for the collective intelligence of the team.
4. Leadership’s Role: Managers might choose to not just tolerate but encourage dissenting opinions. The truest form of respect is to take someone’s ideas seriously enough to debate them passionately.

Final Thoughts

Decorum has its merits, no doubt. But when it becomes the warden rather than the grease of business communication, we risk locking up the very ideas and discussions that could set a company free. Next time you enter a room—whether it’s a boardroom or a chatroom—think twice before you let decorum silence the dissent that could be the catalyst for change.

Further Reading

In ‘Radical Candor,’ Kim Scott (2017) revolutionises our understanding of effective communication and team building. She presents a compelling case for a communication style that combines candour with empathy, challenging the notion that leaders need to be either ‘soft’ or ‘tough.’ Instead, Scott introduces the concept of ‘Radical Candor’ as the golden mean—a zone where people can both care personally and challenge directly, thereby contributing to building teams that are both cohesive and highly productive. In the current climate of rapidly evolving business landscapes and diverse workforces, Scott’s insights offer timely and actionable steps for enhancing communication and performance.

Scott, K. (2017). Radical Candor: Be a Kick-Ass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity. St. Martin’s Press.