Women and the Antimatter Principle

“A man enjoys the happiness he feels, a woman the happiness she gives.”

~ Madame de Rosemonde
from Letter One Hundred and Thirty, Les Liaisons Dangereuse

This insightful quote from Madame de Rosemonde in the classic French novel Les Liaisons Dangereuses highlights a profound truth about the nature of love and human relationships. At its core, love is not about taking or receiving, but about giving. The deepest fulfillment comes not from demanding love and affection from others, but from actively nurturing those around us through empathy, compassion and attending to their needs. And this principle of prioritising others’ needs over narrow self-interest is exemplified in the way many women approach love and relationships.

The Antimatter Principle is the fundamental idea of attending to folks’ needs – putting others’ wellbeing and happiness first through compassion, generosity and nurturing care.

The Feminine Tradition

While both genders are capable of selflessness, tradition has often positioned women as the prime upholders of this radical principle of prioritising others’ needs over our own. From the maternal instinct to subsuming personal ambitions for family, from creating loving homes to knitting together the social fabric, women have long exemplified the art of attending to folks’ needs. It’s the generous aunt welcoming nieces and nephews, the intuitive wife anticipating her husband’s stress, the mother ensuring everyone’s plate is full at the dinner table.

The Source of Joy

In an era of self-absorption, the Antimatter Principle can seem a countercultural relic. An in business, eventhe mention of love can raise hacklesa and foster unease.Yet it is this total devotion to others’ contentment that unlocks true joy and fulfillment, as Madame de Rosemonde suggested. For many women, the deepest wellspring of bliss lies not in being served, but in humble service itself.

The Risks and Rewards

This feminine ethic of radical other-focus can be unstable if unchecked – attending to folks’ needs to the point of self-negation risks dependency and being consumed by the act of giving. But properly balanced, it is a precious fuel source.

The Impact

In our fractured times, reviving the lost feminine way of the Antimatter Principle could be the solution for reweaving tattered social bonds. By recovering the ethic of joyful, unconditional care for others’ needs and happiness, we restore the very matter of love, mutuality and human communion itself.